Woman Accuses Al Gore of Sexual Abuse

A female masseuse from Oregon has filed a statement with police that claims Al Gore sexually abused her during a $540 massage session in 2006.

The unnamed woman alleged that the unwanted sexual contact occurred in a Portland hotel, and that Gore acted like a “crazed sex poodle.”

“I finally got out the door after being forcefully pulled back in the room… a couple of times and trying to leave, to be groped and fondled and have tongue kisses forced on me… and that’s when he’s saying, ‘You know you want to do it.’ And I was just thinking, ‘Oh my god.'”

The police report also noted mysterious stains on the pants the woman wore the day of her “abuse,” which she submitted as evidence.

All this has come to light amidst the wreckage of Al Gore’s failed marriage to Tipper Gore, who may have known about this long ago.

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