The Situation’s Book Cover Revealed!
Literary scholars of the world, prepare for an epic tale of Gym, Tan and Laundry, for The Situation’s book cover has arrived.
Already the creator of a peek-a-boo ab t-shirt, a best-selling iPhone app and a fitness video, Jersey Shore’s native son will dispense his life advice on November 2 with a tome titled Here’s the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore.
The catchprase-spewing Sitch gives aspiring guidos and guidettes invaluable tips in his forthcoming book, according to Jezebel, which calls the self-help guide “the literary equivalent of an Ed Hardy tee.”
Speaking of tees, the Dancing with the Stars cast-off writes of the ever-important process of shirt selection in this excerpt (via Jezebel):
No matter what T-shirt you select, whether it’s fitted, graphic, sequined, bedazzled, crew-neck, deep-V, wifebeater, or what-have-you, it’s about being proud of who you are. If you want to bust out a deep-V that’s safety-cone orange because you think that’s your color, then wear the hell out of that fruity shirt so everybody in the club knows that nobody owns it like you do.
The lady killer also expounds on the concept of “the grenade,” or unattractive lady:
Nine out of then times, the grenade is a grenade because she’s ugly and fat. She’s mad at you and at life because everyone is more interested in her hot friend. (On rare occasions, a cute girl can slide into grenade status because of a horribly bitchy personality, or for being obsessive and possessive about the guy she wants to be with. But possessive chicks are better described as Stage Five Clingers, which we’ll get to in Chapter Eight.)
This is all fine and good, but what we really want to know is The Situation’s marinara sauce recipe. Perhaps a cookbook should be next for the budding author?
Will you read The Situation’s book? Sound off in the comments.
Photo Credit: Amazon.com