Charlie Sheen Gets the Axe from ‘Two and a Half Men’

Amanda Hasaka / March 7, 2011

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This is so not winning.

In not-so-surprising turn of events, Charlie Sheen has been fired from his lucrative Two and Half Men gig. CBS and Warner Bros. Television released a joint statement saying:

“After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen’s services on “Two and a Half Men” effective immediately.”

In a statement obtained by TMZ, Charlie says:

“This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”

Um, OK?