'Bachelor Pad' Recap: Chris Plays the Game, Then Gets Played
Last week, fans of Bachelor Pad had to endure the slow and painful death of Reid.
Which might have been the reason Monday's episode was so quick to move on and jump into this week's challenge.
Indeed, before any of the contestants had time to react to the eliminations, in walked host Chris Harrison, who handed everyone a survey with questions about each of the people left in the house.
As fans of the Bachelor franchise will remember, the survey is kind of like the one you fill out at the doctor's office: You think it's anonymous, until your doctor walks in and reads all of your answers, and then you spend the rest of the appointment trying to cover up your tracks.
That's pretty much what happened to Jamie, who on her survey revealed she thought that Jaclyn was the fakest person in the house. Jaclyn, of course, found out during the challenge, when everyone's answers were revealed during a classic round of "Who Said That?" From then on, Jaclyn was determined to get Jamie out of the house.
Which only made things worse for Jamie, when Jaclyn and, miraculously, Ed were named the winners of their respective competitions. "I can seriously taste the $250,000," Jaclyn said, with dollar signs in her eyes.
Because they won the challenge, Jaclyn and Ed were each given a rose, and the chance to take another member the house out on a one-on-one date.
To everyone's surprise (or maybe not), Jaclyn decided to take Ed out on a date. The date involved a trip to Dodgers stadium, where they worked on their swings, ate hot dogs and, of course, strategized about whom Ed would hand off his rose to. (Because Jaclyn took Ed out on the date, Ed was allowed the chance to save another guy and let that person take someone else out on a date.)
The potential couple decided to put their trust in, of all people, Chris. Little did they know, Chris was back at the mansion plotting the most cryptic, manipulative moved Bachelor Pad has seen since Elizabeth tried to pull a Kovacs into her web of terror, in Season 1.
In sum: Chris decided he was sick of Blakeley and needed to get her out of the house. He also decided he wanted to pry on a partner-less and clearly vulnerable Jamie, which meant he was going to pull her into his bed and "hang out" for awhile.
Of course, Jamie being Jamie, she blindly put her trust in Chris, and even forgave him the next morning when Chris decided to take not Jamie, not Blakeley, but Sarah (!?) out for a date. Like, no.
With a pair of scissors placed firmly in his hands, Chris ran off on an action-packed date with Sarah that involved recreating a movie scene and -- you guessed it -- hooking up. When these girls will learn, I'll never know.
And when Chris will learn, I'll never know, either. Still determined to get Blakeley out of the house, Chris concocted a plan with the equally untrustworthy Kalon to align enough votes against Blakeley. This confused the heck out of Ed, who tried to get answers as to whom everyone would be voting for. Would it be Blakeley? Would it be Jamie?
Eventually, we found out it was Jamie, all because Kalon never really planned to vote out Blakeley in the first place. Chris, of course, was stunned by the votes, and spent the last few moments of the show in typical panic.
Meanwhile, the ladies voted out the last of the Super Fans, David, proving a point that this whole veterans vs. fans thing was probably not a good idea to begin with.
Will Chris get screwed over next week? Or will he save himself in the challenge? Post your theories -- and your reactions to Monday's episode -- in the comments, below.
OMG!: What in God's name was Jamie thinking forgiving Chris for taking Sarah out on the date, instead of her?
Thank you, TV gods: In true Bachelor Pad fashion, the cameras put the Kiss Cam on Ed and Jaclyn, forcing them to kiss. On cue, the show then launched fireworks into the sky.
Awk-ward: Who knew Sarah had it in her to hook up in a parking lot? (This tidbit she revealed on her survey.)
Hotness: I basically have no idea who Nick is, but on Monday, I realized he's kind of a looker, no?
Fab-u-lous: Jamie confronting Chris after the eliminations was kind of awesome, even though, as we've discussed, it was her fault for trusting him in the first place.
Can. Not. Wait.: We pretty much all agree that Chris needs to go, right? I can't anymore.
Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 9