Rachel Uchitel on Motherhood: I’ve Never Been More Happy or Successful in My Whole Life (EXCLUSIVE GUEST BLOG & PHOTOS)

Writing exclusively for Celebuzz, Rachel Uchitel chronicles the experience of becoming a mother for the very first time. She and her husband, Matt Hahn, welcomed daughter Wyatt Lily on May 15, 2012.

Today, Wyatt Lily is almost three months old. I spent two hours this morning sitting on the floor of my bathroom, pointing the hairdryer in the direction of my pink négligée that was hanging on the back of the door. The air blew the négligée back and forth, creating a pattern against the white wall that Wyatt seemed to love. That, mixed with the deafening sound from the hairdryer, was the only thing that stopped her from crying.

This is an example of one of the biggest lessons I have learned in the last three months: be creative and think outside the box.

I can’t say that it’s been easy; however every single minute has been completely worth the lifetime of waiting for this baby to come. My whole life has been a series of things happening for a reason, things that didn’t seem to make sense at the time. Yet, somehow, they all lead to the moment where I met my husband, Matt, with whom I created Wyatt Lily.

Wyatt has completely changed every ounce of me, and for that, I am grateful.

Looking back on it now, the first month was a complete daze. I really didn’t know what I was doing. I took advice from friends and family members who had had children before me, and then I tried to implement my own instincts with their lessons.

 

During the second month, I really got everything down to a science. I knew how to cradle and rock Wyatt in one arm while changing her diaper with the other hand, all the while making funny faces so that she didn’t know what was happening; I finally figured out how to install the car seat; I learned how to use the stroller without resorting to the instruction manual, the same one that had previously left Matt and me so mesmerized, we would give up and stay home.

It was at about six weeks that Wyatt began to smile. I mean really smile, not just because she had gas or something. And that’s when it all kind of began for me. Up until that moment, I never really knew if we were connecting with her. But that milestone will probably be my favorite, beating out even the first time that she walks or talks, because, in that moment, she really saw me.

I’ve never had to make so many serious decisions in my life, none of which had anything to do with me. To get an epidural or not? To breast-feed or not? To go with the vaccinations or not? You become second in your thought process when you love something so unconditionally. I don’t think I had ever truly experienced this before.

I definitely turned into one of those women I always swore I’d never become; the kind who whips out her phone within five minutes of meeting somebody to show them every single picture of Wyatt on my Blackberry. (Yes, I’d even show the photo in which Matt is seen changing Wyatt’s dirty diaper in the hospital.)

 

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I am now that woman who shares tips at the salon, saying things like, “Yes, it’s normal for your baby to go over 24 hours without pooping in the first few weeks of life. In my experience, half and ounce of prune juice will do the trick in less than 2 hours.”

It’s been three months of “Firsts” for me. I’ve never done anything like this before, and I was scared to death. I’m quite certain every woman who experiences having a child for the first time goes through the same thing — fumbling through everything until you get it right.

And that’s the exact process one needs to go through to get to that point, to be the professional. This is a job that you can only get better at with trial and error. Mistakes are part of the learning process. You can only become the mom you want to be by just getting in there and doing the work yourself.

Like many girls I know, I’ve spent most of my adult years trying to figure out what happiness means; trying to figure out how to be fulfilled and successful; longing to belong to something, yet not sure what or how to achieve it. I’ve been lucky enough to experience some pretty spectacular people, places and things.

However, none of the experiences I’ve had in the last 37 years can chalk up to the experience of childbirth and the empowering feeling it gave me. And nothing can top my reality now, that I have my own family: an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter and our two dogs.

I’ve never been more happy or successful in my whole life.