'Gossip Girl' Recap: Get a Grip, Humphrey

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The devil is in the details and Blair Waldorf’s about to be worshipping Satan on The CW's Gossip Girl. Blair’s (Leighton Meester) Type A personality allows for nothing less of perfection and this is especially true in her taking over Waldorf Designs.

For the past five years, we’ve watch Blair go through a number of obstacles, public humiliations, screwing up her dream of Yale, getting traded for a hotel, a sham marriage, a miscarriage and many more. However, I’ve never seen her as rattled as we did on Monday's episode when she – gasp! -- fainted at the office!

Note: Spoilers ahead if you didn't watch Monday's episode, "Dirty Rotten Scandals."

What could’ve driven our HBIC to collapse? Well aside from the pressure of the show, not sleeping and not eating? Serena Van Der Woodsen (Blake Lively) telling her that they are no longer family. Think what you want, but despite every fight and every betrayal Serena and Blair have always come back to each other. Is it possible these besties are really over?

The thought was too much for Blair, landing her on bed rest until her disastrous fashion show. Luckily her man, or eventual man once they “accomplish their personal goals," Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) stepped in to help. Sometimes, it’s the little gestures that make the biggest impact. Chuck and Blair may not be fully together or sleeping together, but they are still supporting one another probably more than they ever have. I found their scenes to be very touching and meaningful.

However, that’s where my enjoyment of the episode ended. Nobody is High School Serena times 10. It’s just not physically possible. There is only one SVDW. Sage (Sofia Black-D'Elia) is hardly a runner up. I don’t know what Nate (Chace Crawford) sees in her. That scene at the end where she complained that she had to deal with “the Serena?” Wake up Nate!

Serena was not only your first love, but she’s one of your oldest and closest friends. You’re going to let a little high school brat talk about her like that? I need Serena and Nate to remember where they came from, who they are and start acting like it again.

I understand Steven’s (Barry Watson) daughter comes first in his life, but you can’t really ask a girl to take a break after she’s moved in with you. He was so cavalier about it. I am really not a fan of Sage and I reiterate my point from last week that she’s taking up a lot of screen time for the last season of Gossip Girl. I’m really just not interested in her story. Besides, it’s completely unbelievable that anybody except for Gossip Girl herself would be able to get the best of Blair and Serena. My beloved Blerena, when will you reunite?!

Lastly, where do I even begin with Humphrey? He has officially turned his back and screwed over the last people who still cared about and supported him. Rufus (Matthew Settle) is naïve, but he’s been a good father to Dan (Penn Badgley). He didn’t deserve that verbal lashing. Nate took a chance on publishing the serial and Dan stabbed him in the back. Nelly Yuki (Yin Chang) was just supportive and sweet and he ditched her for a fan. This isn’t the loyal and good-natured lonely boy that we’ve known for the past few years. What’s happening?

Buzz Moments

OMG!: Dan throwing his father under the bus for the sake of a story. This was painful to watch.

Thank You, TV gods.: The sweet moments between Chuck and Blair tonight. It’s nice to see them be so supportive of each other.

Awk-ward: Dan selling out and choosing Vanity Fair over The Spectator and thus screwing over his last friend.

Hotness: Blair’s nightdress… even if it looked like more of a cocktail dress.

Fab-u-lous: Serena telling Sage that nothing is going to break her and Steven up so to “get used to it sweetie.”

Can. Not. Wait.: Of course, Lily (Kelly Rutherford) slept with Serena’s boyfriend!!

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 6. This episode was lacking.

How do you feel about Sage? Will Serena and Blair ever make up? Hit the comments below.

Leigh Raines

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