‘Gossip Girl’ Recap: Super Rich Kids

'Gossip Girl' Schemes
Blair and Chuck try to find out Bart's secret.
'Gossip Girl': Gah Humphrey
Dan is turning on everyone with release of his second book.
After he provided the whole soundtrack for the latest episode of The CW’s Gossip Girl, y’all know I just had to choose a Frank Ocean song for the recap title. Is there a more perfect description of a bunch of Upper East Siders going to a Debutante Ball than “Super Rich Kids?”

Gossip Girl hit the halfway point of its final season with a trip to a Cotillion that just might’ve been the final nail in the coffin of Blair (Leigton Meester) and Serena’s (Blake Lively) friendship.

Note: Spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched Monday’s episode, “Monstrous Ball”

Nothing good ever comes from a sex tape… um, most of the time. Why was Serena saving it on her phone anyway? This show needs to stop giving Sage (Sofia Black D’Elia) so much credit. No way is that little brat going to out-scheme Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg).

Then again, Georgina was more than ready to part with that video. She was just trying to keep her star writer happy and waiting for the go ahead. Were you all surprised to learn that Dan (Penn Badgley) really just wanted Blair back this whole time? He seemed so intent on taking down the whole Upper East Side, but was he just waiting for an opening with Blair?

I have to say that he’s exchanged some pretty scathing words with both his family and former friends this season. If this is the case, why was his chapter on Chuck (Ed Westwick) so nice when Chuck is his adversary? His agenda isn’t making much sense at the moment.

And after all the things he said to Serena and the way he treated her — boom — the sex tape gets released and he ends up comforting her? I smell a rat. Something is amiss with lonely boy. I will give him one point though, and no it’s not related to him cleaning up his hair on the episode.

Dan’s proclamation to Blair about what colossal BS it was that Blair was waiting around for Chuck with a ring around her neck was dead on. I get that Chuck wants to take down Bart (Robert Burke) and Bart deserves it, but this whole waiting game is lame!

Now that Lily (Kelly Rutherford) knows the truth, is she going to stand by Bart’s side? Will she team up with Chuck? After Chuck let Ivy (Kaylee DeFer) into her apartment, I don’t see Lily doing much of anything with him.

Now that it seems like Steven is out of the picture, maybe he and Sage will hit the road? Nate delivered a great line when he said, “You may be legal, but this is way too high school for me.” Who knew man bangs had it in him?

Is it possible Nate is the secret genius of the show? I would just love that. One person he’s smarter than is Rufus. I know she’s in her 20s, but I really can’t help but still be so grossed out by Rufus and Ivy. Their storyline seems to be such a side story. Rufus used to at least be integrated in the plot. Now he’s a total pawn!

Blair better prepare for “mad mode” as Dorota put it, now that Eleanor is headed back to New York. Only time will tell if she’s able to salvage Waldorf Designs. I hope she does and I hope Chuck takes down Bart, because as I said before, I am just tired of waiting!

Buzz Moments:

OMG: The sex tape finally seeing the light of day.

Thank you, TV gods.: Nate dumping Sage. About time!

Awk-ward: Dorota telling Dan about Chuck and Blair’s pact with the ring. C’mon Dorota you know the drill by now!

Hotness: Serena’s whole Cotillion ensemble. Beautiful!

Fabu-lous: Random, but Ivy really rocked that backless shirt. I’d love to know where she got that.

Can. Not. Wait: The final five.

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 7. This week was a major step up from last!

Will Blair and Serena ever be able to reconcile from their fight? Will Serena and Dan rekindle their romance? Let us know in the comments!

- Leigh Raines

Celebuzz Single Player No Autoplay (CORE)
No changes are to be made to this player