'Gossip Girl' Recap: The Queen of Scheme

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After a series of scathing Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley) exposés, it was finally Blair’s turn up at bat. This week, The CW's Gossip Girl touched on none other than the aptly named “Queen of Scheme,” Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) herself.

Dorota was right (Isn’t she always?). Hell hath no fury like a lonely boy scorned!

Note: Spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched Monday’s episode, “Where The Vile Things Are.”

The thing about Dan’s latest piece, and all of his pieces actually, is that it speaks the truth. Blair really hasn’t progressed past the scheming, backstabbing, blackmailing, mean girl she was in high school. Not that we don’t love her, but when even Serena Van Der Woodsen (Blake Lively) is growing up a little, it’s probably a sign that everyone should mature. Blair always remarked that she wanted to progress into Grace Kelly. Hey, she even had the Monaco royal title for a hot second there!

I wholeheartedly love the fact that Eleanor Waldorf (Margaret Colin) was able to acknowledge her daughter has a deviant and dark sexual side. You can’t fool your own mama, Blair! And I’m glad that by the end of the episode, she realized that she shouldn’t have to. Blair has a Masters in the Dark Arts; she should parlay that into her strength. It seems you can balance your Grace Kelly side with your Grace Jonesside, after all.

This week’s episode played to a lot of Season 1 innuendos, which is probably why I found it to be the strongest episode of Season 6. After last episode’s humiliating sex tape scandal, Dan decided to revisit the part of him that wasn’t a complete douche and was nice to Serena. While I think Serena is often too quick to forgive and forget, I was a fan of Dan and Serena the couple.

They revisited the bar from their first date -- Serena finally got that Vespa ride she always wanted -- chocolate covered strawberries were eaten, and they got stranded in a broken down elevator. Except this time, the elevator scene led to a makeup and not a breakup. Honestly, I’m glad that Dan overheard Serena and Nate’s (Chace Crawford) conversation. He deserved to hear what an arrogant egomaniac he’s been. I have a feeling not everyone will feel as forgiving towards Dan as Serena was.

I loved seeing Nate and Chuck (Ed Westwick) scheme together. These two do best friends really well. How dumb are the people who work for Bass Industries? You’re a financial manager for seriously confidential multi-millionaires and you get drunk off of one glass of Cristal and don’t notice that your phone is missing? Get a grip and then please go resign, thanks.

If Nate Archibald can best you, you’ve got some problems. I love Nate, but he’s not the brightest bulb on the show. Neither is Chuck for leaving that painting in Ivy’s (Kaylee DeFer) hands. There was an extremely important document taped to the back. You keep that painting in your eyesight until you can check it out. I feel so bad for anyone who trusts Ivy, particularly Rufus (Matthew Settle). But, I have to say that Lily (Kelly Rutherford) totally deserves whatever comes to her at this point.

Buzz Moments

OMG: Lily auctioning off something that could land her husband in jail. Duh.

Thank you, TV gods: All the Season 1 throwbacks.

Awk-ward: Lily finding out that Ivy got her paws on Cece’s money, after all.

Hotness: Serena pulling Dan into her bedroom after he asked, “Are you sure?”

Fabu-lous: Ivy’s trashtastic Pretty Woman curls. They were cheesy and hooker-ish, but it worked!

Can. Not. Wait: The debut of B by Waldorf Designs!

Celebuzz Meter (1-10): 9. Strongest episode of the season by far.

Do you think B by Waldorf Designs will be a hit? Are Serena and Dan really going to work this time? What will Ivy do with the oil trade evidence? Sound off in the comments section below.

- Leigh Raines

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Discuss

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  • Jennifer Wood
    Jennifer Wood

    I agree with Olivia that it was a surprisingly good episode despite the lack of Chuck and Blair. Not as sold on Derena as some are though. I think Nate had a point about Serena being vulnerable and Dan being an egomaniac. I've really grown to love Nate. Loved him scheming with Chuck. Blair's storyline was my favorite. I'm happy she's using her dark side in a productive way instead of just trying to be an entirely new person. I just want Chuck and Blair to succeed so we can finally see them as a couple. This waiting is tedious.

  • Olivia
    Olivia

    For a Chair-less episode, it was actually pretty good... minus all things Ivy, which I try to just fast-forward through. Loved the Blair/Eleanor and Chuck/Nate, and the Dan/Serena stuff was surprisingly cute. I wasn't expecting them to still have that much chemistry.