'The Bachelor' Premiere Recap: How Lowe Can You Go? (VIDEO)
This time around, the man looking for love is Sean Lowe, best known for getting his heart broken by Emily Maynard on last season of The Bachelorette.
Months later, Lowe and his ridiculously ripped body have re-cooperated, and now, the 29-year-old hunk from Texas claims he's ready to find love again, even on a show that has a worse track record than Taylor Swift.
But before he could get the ball rolling, Lowe had to deal with an unexpected visit from a familiar face: Arie Luyendyk Jr., also best known for getting his heart broken by Emily Maynard on last season of The Bachelorette.
"He had a lot of good advice for me. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to use any of it," Lowe said. (Which, considering Luyendyk just dated 'Bachelor' villain Courtney Robertson, is probably for the best.)
Then it was time to meet the women, in a series of pre-packaged footage that was equal parts quirky and equal parts schmaltzy.
But that was nothing compared to the actual face-to-face intros, in which the women tried to win Lowe over with pre-rehearsed pick-up liners and awkward gimmicks.
Among the highlights from that portion of the night: Nashville-native Kelly, who went so far as to write Lowe a song about drinking tea with her mom (or something); Lindsay, a 24-year-old substitute teacher who showed up in a wedding dress (ugh); and Ashley P., who once again spent the entire time talking about 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' (Nope, still not family-oriented. And nope, we're not surprised she went home, either.)
Making the biggest impression, though, was Tierra, who managed to get a rose before she even walked into the mansion. (Tierra's other accessory: a target on her back.)
Lowe, of course, didn't mind. The ladies in the house, however, were a different story.
Back to the roses: Lowe's sneak attack with Tierra turned out to be a common theme throughout the rest of the episode, in that Lowe just started handing out roses left and right. Which was good news for some (Desiree!) and bad news for others (Ashley P.! Linsday!)
In the end, 12 women were given roses before the actual ceremony. Which made the rest of the episode feel a bit anti-climactic, because by then we kind of knew who was going home, anyway.
Like poor Nashville-native Kelly, who suddenly realized that singing a song about having tea with her mother on national television probably wasn't a good thing. Duh, y'all.
What did this hold for the rest of the season? Will Sean Lowe actually find love? We'll know in a matter of months.
For now, though, share your thoughts on the Bachelor season premiere in the comments, below.