Golden Globes 2013: 10 Best and Worst Moments From the Awards Ceremony

Globes 2013 Winners
See who won big at the 70th annual Golden Globes.
An evening of celebration and surprise, the 2013 Golden Globe ceremony kept the entertainment world shocked and satisfied as the Hollywood Foreign Press Association recognized the best performances, tv and films of the last year.

But what were the highlights? And perhaps more importantly, the low-lights? There were plenty of amazing moments throughout the ceremony – unexpected wins, great acceptance speeches, terrible jokes, and tear-jerking confessions – which we’ve dutifully assembled for the lingering enjoyment of Celebuzz’ readers.

Highlight: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Opening Monologue

Longtime friends Fey and Poehler were clearly in their element as they cracked wise at the expense of so many attendees, and even the HFPA itself. But among their best lines:

On Ricky Gervais’ absence as host of the awards show: “When you run afoul of the Hollywood foreign press, they make you host this show two more times.”

On the controversy surrounding Zero Dark Thirty: “When it comes to torture I trust the woman who spent three years married to James Cameron.”

On Anne Hathaway’s performance in Les Miserables: “I have not seen someone so totally alone and abandoned since you were on stage with James Franco last year at the Oscars.

Lowlight: Hollywood Foreign Press Association President Dr. Aida Takla’s Speech

Although Takla got in a good zinger later on in her speech, she opened her little introduction with instructions for the cameramen to “scan the crowd” to show the world the star wattage in attendance. She also stood silent as she “waited” for them to follow through on her instructions. But the real howler was her final joke, a gag tailor made for hip grandmas the world over: offering a word to hunky Silver Linings Playbook star Bradley Cooper, she said, “three words: call me, maybe.”

Lowlight: Teleprompter Fail During Best TV Series – Drama Announcement

After Salma Hayek and Paul Rudd successfully handed a statuette to Damian Lewis for Best Actor for his performance on Homeland, they stood uncomfortably on stage waiting for the teleprompter to kick in to read the nominees for Best TV Series. Rudd feebly attempted to keep the conversation going, saying, “how’s everybody?” But Hayek’s “It’s best drama, something, uh…” before the nominees reel unspooled only intensified the awkwardness of the moment.

Highlight: Adele Wins Best Song For “Skyfall”

As a pop star who has made a mint off of her own personal misery, there was something particularly delightful about seeing her giggly and excited as she took the stage to accept her award. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed. “[Me and my date] are new mums – I was not expecting this! We’ve been pissing ourselves laughing all night.” She subsequently thanked her son and her boyfriend, the latter of whom we’re undecided about whether we want to send her packing – after all, it could produce another amazing record.

Highlight: Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell Improvise Plot Synopses For Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical Actress Nominees

After Fey and Poehler mispronounced Ferrell and Wiig’s names introducing them, the pair took the stage for a particularly inspired bit where they attempted to explain the plot and characters of the five films whose actresses received nominations. Wiig has done this bit on Saturday Night Live in the past, but she and Ferrell made a brilliant team as they repeatedly tried to push one another into weirder and weirder digressions as they explained what each film was about. Sub-highlight: Tommy Lee Jones’ complete and total disinterest in the whole thing.

Highlight: Anne Hathaway’s Best Supporting Actress Acceptance Speech

Hathaway trembled as she took the stage to accept her award for her work in Les Miserables, calling the statuette “a blunt object to fight off self-doubt.” But she took an extra moment in her speech to specifically thank Sally Field for being a “vanguard against typecasting,” recalling the elder actress’ transition from The Flying Nun to Norma Rae.

Lowlight: Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger Present Terrible Accents

While an attempt for Stallone and Schwarzenegger to make light of their respective limitations as deliverers of dialogue was certainly well-intentioned and welcome, their patter was at best awkward and unfunny. “I can’t be as bad as you,” Stallone said incredulously. “You’re awful!” Well, congratulations, fellows, you’re both awful – in this bit, anyway.

Lowlight: Claire Danes Thanks Insane Generosity, Seems Insane

Claire Danes won her second Golden Globe in just a few years for her work on Homeland, one of the breakout shows of the last year. But taking the stage in eye make-up better suited to either The Hamburglar or a strung-out mental patient, Danes thanked the HFPA “for being so insanely generous” even as she communicated a questionable level of sanity.

Highlight: Jodie Foster Comes Out During Acceptance Speech

Accepting the Cecil B. DeMille Award with the repeated proclamation of “I’m 50!” Jodie Foster proceeded to deliver one of the most intelligent and inspiring speeches of the evening as she effectively made a public declaration of her sexuality. Explaining that she already came out “a thousand years ago,” Foster went on to give the phrase “loud and proud” new meaning, talking about how she wants to make a difference in different ways going forward although she did not rule out the possibility of acting again. Nevertheless, even as one of Hollywood’s widely-known but seldom publicly-acknowledged gays, Foster gave the gay rights movement a powerful new ally in the fight for equality with yet another beloved and well-respected Hollywood luminary showing her support by simply being open.

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Highlight: Ben Affleck Wins Directing Award, Thanks Film History

Although Affleck was not even nominated for an Academy Award for his directing work on Argo, he took home the prize at the Golden Globes, and delivered an effusive but entirely sincere acceptance speech essentially thanking the industry for allowing him to stand among filmmakers that inspire and quite frankly surpass him with their visions. Mentioning not just fellow nominees like Steven Spielberg and Kathryn Bigelow, but icons like Orson Welles and trailblazers like Paul Thomas Anderson, Affleck breathlessly ran down a list of artists he appreciates and adores, wrapping up with a thank you to his children and wife, whom he called “his everything.”

What were your most and least favorite moments at the 2013 Golden Globes Awards? Let us know in the comments below!