‘Kourtney & Kim Take Miami’ Recap: 50-Year-Old Ovaries and a Slob-Kabob (VIDEO)

Sisterly love can turn on a dime. That’s what I learned on Monday’s episode of E!’s Kourtney & Kim Take Miami.

On Sunday’s episode, the gals touched down in Miami to find that there was some professional and personal work to be done right away. The DASH Miami store was a wreck, Kourtney Kardashian has to be convinced she needs boyfriend Scott Disick around and sister Kim Kardashian gets a crash course in caring about someone other than herself, her new kitty, Mercy.

Note: Spoilers ahead if you didn’t watch Monday’s episode, “Secrets.”

Kim has an old lady’s ovaries. To be clear, Kim has her own ovaries – not some old chick’s. But, her fertility doctor tells the 31-year-old that being on birth control has severely hampered her egg development AKA “ovarian reserve.” At this point, her egg levels are similar to that of a woman in her 50s. So, what’s a girl to do with that news? Strike out at her very fertile sister. Kim comes around later (watch the video above), but not before going off on Kourtney first.

Kourtney stinks. That’s according to both sister Khloe Kardashian and Scott. Aren’t you glad smell-o-vision never quite took off? In addition to Kim hating the “slob-kabob” Kourtney has become since having kids, Khloe decides she needs to tame the “fire pit” that has taken over her sister’s underarms. You see, Kourtney doesn’t believe in using deodorant when she’s pregnant and breastfeeding, which basically means all the time. As a bitter Kim explains, Kourtney gets pregnant every time she sneezes. But, Kourtney isn’t one to bend to peer pressure. So, she’ll continue to not wear deodorant and pop out babies as much as she wants and her sisters just have to deal.

Scott’s heart is racing. It only took one episode for Scott to discover who he will go bromantic crushy on in Miami (because Rob Kardashian isn’t around, duh!). He meets an older gentleman with severe style, a successful business, plus he drives racecars. Yes, it’s future Scott. And even though Kourtney forbids him from racing, the heart wants what it wants. I don’t blame her. I banned my boyfriend from driving a motorcycle. But, I’m single now. So, it’s probably good that Kourtney changed her mind and decided to support Scott’s need for speed.

Now, if only she would change her mind on wearing deodorant…

Buzz Moments

OMG!: Did Scott really admit to thinking of himself while self-pleasuring? Why am I even surprised by that?

Thank you, TV gods.: Three’s Company reference! After Kourtney couldn’t zip her mumu up, Kim declares, “That was Mrs. Roper status.”

Awk-ward: Scott tries to get Khloe to smell his pits and she accuses him of “being so sexual” with her lately. Again, Rob isn’t around.

Hotness: I find Kourtney’s confidence sexy. Her B.O.? Well, I can admire her from afar.

Fab-u-lous: Larsa Pippin shows Kim that being a mom doesn’t mean you have to start dressing like Mrs. Roper. Plus, who can resist bringing beautiful biracial babies into the world?

Can. Not. Wait.: It’s a girls’ weekend for Kourtney, Kim and Khloe on the next episode, which is titled “Lez-B-Honest.” ‘Nuff said.

Isn’t it nice to know that Kim’s self-doubt will end with a Kanye baby? And, seriously, aren’t you impressed that Kourtney changed her mind about Scott’s racing? Sound off below!

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