The 20 Funniest, Strangest Moments From The ‘All-Star Celebrity Apprentice’ Premiere
We’re pulling on to the highway for a nice long road trip together that we like to call NBC’s All-Star Celebrity Apprentice. Hope you packed lots of snacks, and brought money for gas, because the journey of a million miles begins with 20 crazy moments from the season premiere.
1. Bret Michaels is slowly turning into Jack Sparrow. The hollowed-out gaze, the eye makeup and the bandana fetish all lead one to believe that Michaels has gone from aging rock star to Johnny Depp cosplay enthusiast before our very eyes.
2. Trump looks pinker than usual. Viewers spent an average of 15 minutes adjusting the contrast on their TVs until realizing that was his actual skin color.
3. Donald Trump is bad at compliments. Congratulating Dennis Rodman on not being drunk and Lisa Rinna on less-cartoonish lip size make for some odd icebreakers.
4. Bret Michaels makes Omarosa draft pick #1 for his team. I’m sorry, he did what now?
5. Gary Busey’s team name suggestions are the mostest. Invisible Witches. Sperm Farmers. Ferrets. Bread Pudding. It’s like a 9-year old is playing Mad Libs inside his brain.
7. Gary Busey looks terrifying when chopping vegetables. But in his defense, he looks just as scary when brushing his teeth, shopping at Target or playing Angry Birds on his iPad.
8. Claudia Deal-or-no-Deal says “nobody plays the game better than Omarosa” Unless of course you count all the people who have actually won the game ever.
9. Piers Morgan still not leaving well enough alone. As soon as Piers opens his mouth, you know that fireworks will follow. Our advice: stop giving Omarosa a platform for her performance art and she’ll just go away.
11. Lil Jon loves truffle oil. Most of your hip-hop artists are fond of it. It’s like the Cristal of the condiment world.
12. The Kelly & Michael audience have never seen juggling evidently. Why else would they roar like drunken sailors when Penn Jillette spins his meatballs in the air?
13. Nothing says “Welcome” like a shuttered meatball store. Would YOU enter a business establishment that features a “Closed for Private Event” sign in the window – and has Gary Busey and Stephen Baldwin staring back at you through smoked glass.
14. Gary Busey scares tourists. Attention NYC visitors, when Gary Busey approaches your bus, DO NOT attempt to feed or pet him.
15. T Boone Pickens has a blonde co-ed army of check deliverers. Strange to see an Oklahoma State sorority girl wandering around the streets of Manhattan handing out $100,000 checks from the richest man in America.
17. Dennis Rodman defends Omarosa’s honor. If it’s one thing you can count on during a season of the Celebrity Apprentice, its surreal human interaction.
18. Brandi Roderick Blank Expression Theatre. Um, she was told there would be no math.
19. Piers Morgan is super pumped about winning the Celebrity Apprentice. Seriously, how many times do we need to hear how well he played the game?
20. Donald Trump still fires people for utterly nonsensical reasons. The Donald rattles off numerous legitimate Brand failures – and then promptly fires Bret Michaels.
All-Star Celebrity Apprentice airs Sundays at 9PM.
What did you think were the funniest and strangest moments from the premiere episode?
Who was the first to get the axe on Apprentice? Watch below.
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