Here Are The Pros And Cons Of 'Bachelor' Sean's Big Decision

Posted March 11, 2013, 5:21 pm   •   by Laide Akao   •   0 comments

Dear Diary,

Tonight is the night that I have to choose my future wife. It’s crazy for me to think that this adventure is over but I know that my best friend is one of these two unbelievable women.

I started with twenty-six beautiful women and now I am left with Lindsay and Catherine. They are both fun, goofy, and have everything I am looking for in a partner. It is just so dang hard to pick between these two women.

So, I have written a pros and cons list to get my thoughts out on paper.

 

Lindsay Pros

• Adventurous! She ate all those creatures in Thailand. And, um, that turned me on in all the right ways. • We have the same goals in life. • Her running me through some basic training drills was great. I want a lady I can work out with. • Her body… WOW. • Her family and I got along, GREAT! • The way she dresses, dang. I love her style.

Cons

• She was wasted the first time I met her. That’s not a great first impression. • She showed up in a wedding dress, SCARY! • Even though she was the first woman I kissed, that was not my doing… • She does this weird mouth thing where she scrunches up her lips. I don’t want to be mean, but I can’t imagine kissing her lips when she does that. • Has Tierra-like eyebrows. And Tierra-like anything is frightening. • I think I had the most fun with her when she was drunk. Sorry, Mom. • She is a little predictable, I need some spontaneity, someone to keep on my toes.

Catherine Pros

• She thinks I’m beefy and hunky, which means she has eyes. • I think she is smoking hot, which means I have eyes. • She has traditional values • She is fun, goofy, and I always have a good time with her. • Did I say, she thinks I’m beefy? • After meeting her, she told me to find her for a dance inside. I don’t know what it was about that, but that really got me going. • That first kiss in LA = Amazing • Throwing fish at Pike Place = FUN, FUN, FUN. I know I turned her on with my football skills! • She sees both sides of me: romantic and fun. • Wants to be seen and treated like a lady. A girl I can take home to mom, but underneath it all she’s wearing a thong.

Cons

• She says words like wiggles. Who talks like that? • Her sisters don’t think she is ready to settle down. And I just convinced 24 women that I was marriage material, I’m not looking forward to adding two more to that list. • I don’t like that she’s insecure, like I said she’s smoking hot. • At times, I think she holds back her emotions. How well do I really know her? • Kissing her puts my celibacy in danger.

Sean, you have a big decision. You are about to choose your wife for life. You can do this. Best, Sean

Note: The above is fictional. Sean Lowe didn't actually show us his diary.