And The Best New Coach Is...
"The Voice" alum Katrina Parker breaks down Monday's premiere and hands out awards.
The Voice is back and better than ever. I consider being a part of The Voice family akin to being in the mob: Once you're in, you're in. I will always be a fan of the show and consider it a privilege to tune in and cheer the new contestants on.
Now my run on The Voice was uneven at best, but I’d like to think I have some idea of what everyone on that stage is going through… so here are some of my thoughts on the best moments from Monday’s premiere.Usher is charming, but Shakira is my new BFF. She's witty and adorable in a smart-but-non-threatening way. She’s someone I would love to take to coffee (we could talk what hair products she uses and how I can get my hips not to lie). While I miss the unpredictability of CeeLo Green and Christina Aguilera (and their unique fashion choices), I am fully on board with the new coaches.
Cool as a Cucumber Award. The way Judith Hill commanded the stage was effortless (and her performance was well worth the amount of buzz that preceded it). Her voice is flexible and textured, and her range is ridiculous. I never really won my battle against nerves on The Voice, so I’m hugely impressed when someone comes out as calm, centered and in control as Judith.
Is it the best we’ll see this season? Who knows. But, she’s a natural star who is clearly on the verge of something BIG. If I was a betting man, I’d bet Adam Levine is clearing a place for his Season 4 trophy now.
Best Underage Performance. I’m usually unnerved by underage performers on reality singing competitions. It can read a little Toddlers & Tiaras for me, but Danielle Bradbery was fantastic. She has a great voice, is cute as a button and seems to be very sweet and well adjusted.
It was also a relief to see an age appropriate outfit onstage. So many young female performers are over-sexualized, but her look was fresh and youthful. Kudos to the wardrobe department for that, and congratulations to Blake Shelton for winning this gem.
Best & Worst Dancing. Blake Shelton – hands down. His victory dances were terrible and wonderful at the same time. Producers - give us more of this, please (and could someone please make me a meme of Blake’s country moonwalk? Thanks!).
Most Confusing Moment. I found the bird call demonstrated by Janetza Miranda to be 50 percent adorable and 50 percent horrifying (and I found her family 100% entertaining! Please come back!).
Most Hilarious Flub. This goes to Usher for saying “Nashville is a state.” I highly recommend he respond to any criticism of his geography skills by putting a leg up and replying with two words - “Justin Bieber.”
Biggest “Dust in my eyes” Moment. The heartbreaking backstory of James Irwin’s prematurely born daughters was too much for my emotionally fragile state. The first time I saw this I was at The Voice premiere. There I was sitting in a theater surrounded by a couple thousand people trying not sob off all my makeup. No chairs turned, but Shakira reminded James that “Life is full of second & third chances. You should try it again, because you deserve to come back.”
Word, Shakira. I’m talking about third, fourth and fifth chances here, because if you love what you do you will do it again and again because you HAVE to do it.Voice Lessons Learned This Week
• If you can make LMFAO fresh again and inspire me to create the hash tag #WiggleWiggleWiggle, you have WON at life (I’m looking at you, Christian Porter). • Shakira is in the game, y’all! She has excellent poker face (as demonstrated when she turned to see Whitney’s “Saving All My Love” was performed by a man with a sexy upper range). She has a serious contender in Kris Thomas. • It pays to be ballsy. Ask Vedo who bravely covered a Justin Bieber song for one of the men who discovered Justin Bieber! Look how that worked out for him (hint: really well).
Leave some of your favorite (or least favorite) moments in the comments, and tune in tonight at 8PM EST as I live-tweet the next episode of The Voice (@katrinapmusic). You can also see me perform the single from my upcoming album tomorrow (Wednesday, March 27) on Hallmark’s Home & Family show at 10AM.
Watch Christian redefine "Sexy" below.