‘I Told Mrs. Witherspoon To Sit on Her Butt and Be Quiet’: Inside Reese Witherspoon’s Police Report

Last Friday at 12:40 a.m., Reese Witherspoon and her husband Jim Toth found themselves in a bit of trouble. After a night out in Atlanta, the two were pulled over and both were eventually arrested, Toth on suspicion of driving drunk and Witherspoon for disorderly conduct. The arrest report shows that Toth was well-behaved throughout the traffic stop that lead to his arrest.

The Smoking Gun has posted a copy of the police report from the scene; here are the highlights:

“I observed that Mr. Toth was chewing on something and asked if him if [sic] it was gum. Mr. Toth stated it was a mint.”

A note: if you’re chewing a mint to mask the scent of alcohol on your breath, try to finish it before a police officer is having you perform a field sobriety test. Another note: if the smell of alcohol on your breath is so strong you need a mint, think twice about driving home. Better yet, just don’t.

“After I had administered the PBT [preliminary breath test], Mrs. Witherspoon began to hang out the window and say that she did not believe that I was a real police officer. I told Mrs. Witherspoon to sit on her butt and be quiet.”

Now is this Reese Witherspoon? Or Melanie Carmichael Smooter Perry?

“I told Mrs. Witherspoon to get back into the car. Mrs. Witherspoon stated she was a ‘US Citizen’ and that she was allowed to ‘stand on American ground.'”

Reese Witherspoon, who is a relative of Declaration of Independence signatory John Knox Witherspoon, certainly knows her rights. But Reese Witherspoon, who attended Stanford University for a year, surely knows that there are limits to those rights.

“Mrs. Witherspoon asked, ‘Do you know my name?’ I answered, ‘No, I don’t need to know your name.'”

Oh boy, here we go…

“Mrs. Witherspoon also stated, ‘You are going to be on national news.'”

…And here we are.

“The backseat passenger was released to a taxi cab.”

Wait who is this shadowy third person? This Passenger on the Grassy Backseat? Will we ever hear his/her first-hand account? (Probably not. He/She was probably passed out drunk the whole time.)

You can read the whole arrest report here.

Witherspoon has already issued an apology in which she admits she “clearly had one drink too many and [is] deeply embarrassed about the things [she] said.”