Being (Saved By) John Malkovich

Fear not, Canada! For there’s a new caped crusader policing your incredibly clean and almost unrealistically safe streets! John Malkovich has come to save you all!

During a cigarette break outside the King Edward Hotel in Toronto on Thursday, Malkovich witnessed a tourist from Ohio trip on the sidewalk and slash his neck on some scaffolding. Malkovich, who’s in town playing Casanova in a production of The Giacomo Variations, rushed over to the man and used his hand to apply pressure to the wound while they waited for an ambulance.

“I was face down and I don’t know whether I turned over or whether the guys turned me over to see where all the blood was coming from. And they just were marvelous,” the injured man, Jim Walpole, told a Canadian news outlet. “They put pressure on the wound and wouldn’t let me move until the rescue squad got here.”

Malkovich, famed humorist that he is, also apparently provided some comfort to the injured man, telling him, “Listen, they got a really good [health care] system up here.”

Walpole was taken to the hospital where he got 10 stitches and was released and Malkovich, as the hotel’s doorman put it, “faded into the night.”