Charlie to Farrah: You Have ‘Tranny-Boobs’ and a ‘Five O’Clock Shadow’

Cory Lopez / June 14, 2013

Charlie Sheen and Farrah Abraham’s beautiful friendship has ended before it ever really began.

The Anger Management actor is fuming at Abraham after she allegedly leaked their private text conversations, in which they two try to coordinate a get-together, be it a “kids play date,” or “just coffee and relaxing,” or hanging with “pornstar ppl.” And Sheen is spewing that rage in a rejection letter of sorts, obtained by TMZ.

“hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua; I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us,” he wrote to Abraham. “congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn. your daughter must be so proud.”

Said “communication” started back in May, when Abraham texted Sheen saying she would “love to meet…at some point” even if she couldn’t secure a cameo on his FX series. Sheen seemed game, that is until the Teen Mom-turned-porn star spilled their back-and-forth for all the world to read. Now Sheen has stopped with the pleasantries.

“please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you,” he seethed in the letter. “the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.”

“oh and I’m sure they’ll wave the cover charge,” he added,”when they see your tranny-boobs (see here) and five o’clock shadow.”

Sounds like Abraham should forget about that play-date with the one-time winning Warlock. Well, at least she is on the cover of Metropolis Nights magazine. Never heard of it? Yeah, us neither.