Here's How Detroit Can Get Out of Bankruptcy
Kickstarter CampaignIf it's good enough for Zach Braff, it's good enough for Detroit. Just throw up a quirky little video and offer some incentives (free Cadillacs for life, Kwame Kilpatrick will record your voicemail message) and you'll be on your way. How much could you really need to raise anyway? Oh, $380 million? Yikes.
Home Improvement RebootHome Improvement is arguably Detroit's greatest export. ABC could use a little help right now as well. I smell a solution. Bring back the whole gang (even Pamela Anderson) and let's make Detroit look fun again! This probably wouldn't really help the city's financial problems too much, but it would definitely create some jobs and there's really no harm in making Detroit look cool.
Pimp My CitySpeaking of looking cool, did you know that Pimp My Ride host Xzibit is from Detroit? It's almost like kismet. Bring X in to do some creative camera shots while the talented professionals of West Coast Customs install a couple aquariums or panini makers or subwoofers or whatever they do. Then we can flip this bad boy! I hear it's a buyer's market, Canada!
Bring Madonna's Old Accent BackOnce upon a time there was a young woman from Michigan who loved to vogue and to wear wedding dresses. Unfortunately, she grew up to be a very buff British woman who loves to flash concert audiences. But let's get Madge to bring that Michigan accent back! What's good for Madonna is good for Michigan. Kid Rock Foundation and the Marshall Mathers Foundation both raise money to help those in need in Detroit and have been doing so for years. What's happened to Detroit is partially due to corruption, sure, but it's also a terrible example of what happens to a city when those who can afford to jump ship leaving everyone else to sort out the problems.