CNN Emerges as Dark Horse Winner of Craziest Royal Baby Coverage Competition

It began in late November. That new Duchess, she seemed… different. Was she using a new conditioner, or was Kate Middleton busy growing a new sovereign in her commoner womb? As it turned out, it was the latter. That future king, His Royal Highness, Prince TK of Cambridge, was born July 22 around 4:00 p.m. London time.

What happened in the months between is one of the strangest, most invasive media spectacles in modern history. E!’s baby fever was whipped into a full-on frenzy as the little king refused to be born. By my count, E! published 52 separate articles related to the royal baby in the last week, that’s nearly 8 a day. Then, of course, there was The Telegraph’s livestream of a door. A little fetus, bestowed with magical powers by its parentage, had turned a group of adult-aged professionals into a pack of wild animals, snarling and foaming at the mouth, writing up every possible angle they could find. “Kate Middleton ‘Will Cope Quite Well’ After Royal Baby Is Born, Says Schoolmate” was an actual headline. The “schoolmate” in question, by the way, last spoke to Kate Middleton when she was 12.

So it seemed like E! had pretty much cornered the “most rabid royal baby coverage” title. That is, until dark horse CNN threw its hat into the ring. No stranger to wall-to-wall coverage of completely trivial subject matter, CNN, it appears, went momentarily insane with the news Monday morning that Kate Middleton had gone into labor. “How is giving birth different in the UK,” an assignment editor wondered aloud and all the sudden it became a story. CNN’s Elizabeth Cohen took us right to a delivery room where she interviewed a woman while she was in labor.

Welcome to the world, Prince TK, it’s a pretty crazy place. But don’t worry, you’re already super popular. And if that doesn’t work out, you’re also crazy rich.