You Either Die a Hero or You Live Long Enough to Read Today’s Winning Beyoncé Captions
CUT TO: INT. BEY CAVE — NIGHT
MUSIC JOURNALIST enters. In his hands, he holds a USB drive. He looks around hesitantly. Though he appears somewhat nervous, he makes his way over to the computer at the center of the cave.
I did it. I’m in. Now, I just need to download Beyonce’s new music and post it online for all to hear.
A loud crash interrupts him. He turns to see a masked figure standing directly behind him. It is BEYONCÉ, the The Hero Pop Music Deserves But Not the One Who Actually Releases New Music.
So, we meet again. This time, though, I was ready for you. I have to hand it to you, you’ve got balls. You’re one crazy motherf*****!
Crazy… IN LOVE!
BEYONCÉ kicks the USB drive out of MUSIC JOURNALIST’s hand, the tip of her stilleto grazes his cheek as it passes. The USB drive explodes upon contact with the floor. As smoke and debris fill the room, the words TO BE CONTINUED… flash across the screen and “Girls (Who Run The World)” plays.
I mean, I don’t know if anyone reading this knows a producer they can pass this onto? I’d be eternally grateful, of course, not that I need your help. This script practically sells itself. But I mean, really, if you know someone, I could see about getting you an associate producer credit on this thing. It’ll be worth it! No? FINE! Check out today’s winning captions:
“Oh yeah I’m batilicious! I don’t think you ready for this batty!” – Patty
“Queen b of bat town” – Kiki
“If you like it, then you shoulda put a mask on it” – Tommy
Congrats to our winners! Visit our Facebook page for a new Caption Contest each and every weekday.
Image Source: I Am Beyoncé