Ellen DeGeneres Will Awkwardly Host the 2014 Oscars
"It's official: I'm hosting the #Oscars!" She wrote. "I'd like to thank @TheAcademy, my wife Portia and, oh dear, there goes the orchestra."
DeGeneres previously hosted the Oscars in 2007. Her gags included vacuuming the carpet mid-show, periodically chatting with nominees in the audience and other things people apparently found way more funny and comforting than I did.