Maria Sharapova is Reportedly Changing Her Name To Promote Her Candy Brand

In what will surely go down as summer 2013’s most devastating news, a real life human being (Maria Sharapova) is reportedly considering changing her name in order to promote a brand (Sugarpova, Sharapova’s candy brand). London’s The Times reports that Sharapova is looking into making the name change before next week’s US Open in order to promote Sugarpova, which sells gummy heels for more than $1 per ounce. According to The Times, this name change would be temporary, with Sharapova reverting back to her birth name upon the conclusion of the two-week tournament.

Sharapova has apparently contacted officials in Florida (where else) about making the temporary name change. It remains to be seen, however, whether or not the state will approve Sharapova’s request. Keep in mind that this is a state which accidentally banned sex and sponsors an annual python hunt so really anything is possible. Sharapova will also be sporting the Sugarpova logo — a pair of red lips — on her on-court wardrobe during the US Open, another attempt to turn one of America’s most storied sporting competitions into a two-week-long commercial.

According to Forbes, Sharapova made $29 million dollars last year, making her the world’s highest-paid female athlete. She’s also the world’s most famous Russian athlete who hasn’t banged Enrique Iglesias in a bathroom. Sharapova, who’s currently ranked third-best in the world, has won four Grand Slam championships. If she’s successful, Sharapova’s won’t be the first ridiculous name change by an athlete (paging Metta World Peace), but it will certainly be the worst.