Call the Cops, ‘Cuz Today’s Winning Paris Hilton Captions Are Criminal(ly Good)

The good news is that the world shall soon be blessed with new Paris Hilton music (ICYMI), which is amazing because literally every person who ever lived, who currently lives, and who will ever live loved her first album, 2008’s Paris, which featured #1 (in our hearts) hit single, “Stars Are Blind.” She should probably be arrested for how good that album was, because no one is legally allowed to make music that good. In other good news, today’s winning captions are right after the jump.

“is this the only officer they could find” – T’omar

“You were right, they’re taking pictures.” – Maja

“Just calling to tell you i’m hotter, richer and more famous than you, bitch” – Sebastian

” Hi daddy, im on my way to jail. Can you make sure they have my cell cleaned and ready for me ?” – Karen

“Yep…that’s right bitches, I’m strutting my stuff……..with Paris Hilton by my side!!!” – Bijana

Congrats to our winners! Visit our Facebook page for a new Caption Contest each and every weekday!