Nicole Kidman Mowed Down by Paparazzo on a Bike

It was not a great day for Nicole Kidman.

It started off with promise. Kidman was in the front row for Calvin Klein’s New York Fashion Week show. New York Fashion Week is a bi-annual tradition observed in the old Dutch colony of New Amsterdam wherein a parade of very tall people walk up and down a plank to show off threaded fabrics which have been assigned a (usually high) monetary value somewhat arbitrarily.

Following the show, Kidman was returning to her very fashionable hotel on New York’s very fashionable Upper East Side — the Carlyle. This is the same hotel wherein a U.S. president once allegedly conducted an affair with a very famous actress whose name rhymes with Schmarilyn Schmonroe. Perhaps Kidman, like Marilyn (I mean Schmarilyn), should have used underground tunnels for her entrance, rather than simply walking in the front door, as that’s where something nasty happened to her. A freelance photographer, named Carl Wu, was driving his bi-wheeled, pedal-driven vehicle down the sidewalk, trying to snap a photograph of Kidman’s Oscar-winning visage. Instead, he smashed into her, knocking her to the ground.

According to TMZ (but also common sense), Kidman was very irate that she was knocked to the ground by a bicycle on the sidewalk outside of her very expensive hotel. Kidman is reportedly seeking to press charges and police were called to the scene where they ticketed Wu for riding his bike on the sidewalk. Kidman was not injured in her fall.