Why Would Famke Janssen Make Up a Story About an Intruder Leaving a Doll Book by Her Bed?

The revelation today that the police believe Famke Janssen made up a story about an intruder leaving a book by her bed creates more questions than it answers.

For background: in August, Janssen called the New York Police Department to report that someone had broken into her home. While there was no sign of forced entry and nothing was stolen, there was an obscure children’s book called The Lonely Doll by her bed. Yiiiiikes. As it turns out, police found lists bearing Janssen’s name within the pages of the book, the book belongs to her after all and the whole thing was some sort of confusing hoax. While the police may have answered all the questions they need to, there are certainly more questions to ask about this bizarro story, primarily…

 Why would Famke Janssen make up a story about an intruder leaving a creepy doll book by her bed?

Was it all for attention? What’s going on here? What else has she lied about for attention? Is her leg really even broken or did she just fake that for attention too? Can we trust anything Famke Janssen has ever told us? If that even is her real name…

Why did it take the police one full month to open the book?

When investigating a potential stalker situation, the logical first step seems to be to check the book for any notes scrawled in pig’s blood:

I’m going to stab you at 4 PM tomorrow.

Your stalker

Instead they would have found grocery lists on which Famke Janssen practiced her signature. Case closed.

Why does Famke Janssen write her own name on her grocery lists?

Famke Janssen’s Grocery List:
Creepy doll book to stage elaborate home intrusion hoax

Why is The Lonely Doll considered a children’s book?

Just look at this cover! The book is about a doll and a couple bears who promise to never leave each other! What a spookfest.