Thinking of Dressing Up as Miley Cyrus This Halloween? You're Better Than That
Miley Cyrus vs. Lorde
This serves dually as Halloween and life advice, but don't be Miley Cyrus. Trust me, you're not the first person to think of it; whatever party you go to, there's going to be at least 15 other Miley Cyruses (Mileys Cyrus? Miley Cyri.) and they'll all be unoriginal. Besides, Lorde is easy: all you'll need is a matted mop of a wig and attitude for days.
The Bling Ring vs. Spring Breakers
The Spring Breakers girls might seem like a good idea, since it gives you the opportunity to wear very little and behave very badly. Plus you can do it with your friends. Instead, consider going as The Bling Ring girls, who starred in a slightly less buzzy film, but were equally as miscreant.
Breaking Bad vs. Low Winter Sun
Once again, Breaking Bad is not as original an idea as you think it is. If you're really trying to prove you know what's up, go as Low Winter Sun, the show AMC tried to pimp out as the next Breaking Bad, to mixed results. Plus, you can really wear whatever you like and just say you're Low Winter Sun, since no one watches it. If you're looking for accuracy, I think it's about cops. Or killers. Or cop killers. Or cops that are killers. Something like that.
The Royal Family vs. The Kimye Family
Don't dress up as someone else's family for Halloween. That's creepy. Especially if you're an actual family.
Anthony Weiner vs. Ted Cruz
Remember Carlos Danger? Of course you don't. Your Anthony Weiner costume might have seemed like a good idea this summer, but America has moved on to a new bonkers politician and his name is Ted Cruz. Well dressed and vaguely ethnic, Sen. Cruz is the perfect Disney villain. You can filibuster your Halloween party until it shuts down or if you spend too much money at the bar, tell your credit card company you plan to default on your debts on principal. For added points, go as Canadian Ted Cruz.
Twister vs. Sharknado
Girls vs. Women
I get it, it sounds like a funny idea: you and your girlfriends are flailing and confused just like the ones on the teevee. But don't be Girls, be Women. Together we can aspire to something greater.
Daft Punk vs. Robin Thicke (Blurred Lines)
No one cares how cool you look wearing your shades inside, surrounded by a harem of scantily-clad women. And it's not any funnier if you do some tongue-in-cheek drag version either. Daft Punk's song of the summer was also about getting laid (only consensually) and it was so, so much better. For the procrastinators, just go in plainclothes and tell people you're Daft Punk IRL.
American Horror Story: The Coven vs. Sex and the City: The Original Coven
Consider, rather than going as the hot new coven on television, going as the original coven on television: Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte.
Forty Days of Dating vs. 300 Sandwiches
Don't be a blog for Halloween. Please. Don't give these twerps the attention they're so desperately seeking.