Jennifer Garner Calls Ben Affleck “Spermy,” Forever Scars Her Three Kids

Sure, being Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck’s kids are great — your dad is a superhero, your “uncle” is Matt Damon — but sometimes you just have to sit there and listen to your mom blab about your dad’s little swimmers.

Little Violet, Seraphina and Samuel are presumably scarred for life after their mother called their father “Spermy” on national TV, gushing about her Oscar-winning husband’s super potent Affleck Jrs while appearing on Ellen Friday.

“Spermy has been so far held at bay,” she said of the couple’s plan to expand their brood. “There are 57 kinds of contraceptives used pretty much.”

Yes, so far so good. Stop it in its track,” she continued.

Ugh, now I’ll never look at Batman the same way again.