Miley Cyrus Smoked Some Weed on Stage

If a tree tries desperately to spark up controversy deep in the Veluwe forest of the Netherlands, but no one’s there to finger-wag, does it make a sound? That is to say, Miley Cyrus lit up a joint on stage at the MTV European Music Awards this weekend in Amsterdam. Cue the collective yawning.

Cyrus had just been awarded Best Video for “Wrecking Ball.” After thanking her legion of teenaged fans named the “Smilers” and some creepy old man who takes pictures of her naked in hotel rooms (and directed the music video), Cyrus whipped a joint out of her purse saying, “You know, I couldn’t fit this award in my bag, but I did find this. So, thank you guys very much.”

No, Miley. Thank you. Because this took me roughly five minutes to write and the guaranteed bajillions of hits it will get on this site all but guarantee me my Christmas bonus.