Kelly Clarkson Gives One Hell of an Obnoxious Interview

By: Kelly Lynch / November 21, 2013

Now that she’s a knocked-up smug married, Kelly Clarkson wants you to know how friggin’ happy she is and how terrible it was to once be single.

I was single for almost seven years,” Clarkson told Parade magazine.  “Every Christmas, it was like, ‘Seriously, I’m still pathetically alone? Awesome. I’m still telling people I’m okay with it? I’m not.’”

Not only that, but Clarkson spoke of the one thing no woman wants to be reminded of.  Ever.

“My eggs aren’t getting any younger, so we’ve already started trying,” Clarkson said (at the time of the interview, Clarkson hadn’t yet announced her pregnancy).

“I’m totally gonna have a girl. I’m manifesting it! And when I have a girl, you’re gonna be like, ‘That chick knew it!’”

On October 18th, Clarkson married Brandon Blackstock at Blackberry Farm in Tennessee.  The American Idol alum wore a lace Temperley gown, and exchanged handwritten vows with the father of two, whom she met at the 2012 Superbowl.

“I bawled like a baby. We both wrote our own vows, and it was hard to get through them, but I did it. … Brandon was like, ‘The Notebook ain’t got nothin’ on me—come on!’ And he took me out [on the lake] in a rowboat. It was very sweet. The whole thing was perfect.”

Clarkson announced her pregnancy via Twitter on Tuesday, and is prepared for the onslaught of cruel weight jokes.

“Everybody calls me fat all the time, so I can’t wait to have a reason, instead of everybody just being a jerk!

“I’ve never been Gisele Bündchen, so ain’t nobody expectin’ that! I like to set a [low] standard so people don’t expect a lot.”

Preach!

Clarkson’s new Christmas album, Wrapped in Red is available now.

[Images via Miller Mobley for Parade]