Katy Perry Reveals Reason Behind Russell Brand Split: "I Wasn't Ready" to Have Kids
The singer, who covers the publication's January issue, reveals that the idea of having kids weighted heavily on the marriage, ultimately causing the couple to split as Perry wasn't ready to start a family.
"I'm definitely not there yet, and I can't plan that far in advance. When I decide to have a family, I'll just want to be Mom for a little bit," she explains. "[Brand] really wanted me to have children, and I knew I wasn't ready -- I think it was a way of control. I think it was part of, If I have a kid, then I would have to sacrifice -- I'd have to be home more. I really wanted to, but I knew I wasn't ready for it. It wasn't like, 'Hey, let's have a kid because we're in love."
The "Roar" songstress admits that she was a wreck after Brand broke off their marriage via text, spending her days only "eating Flamin' Hot Cheetos and drinking."
"There were two weeks of my life after I found out the truth of my marriage where I was like, 'OK. All right. I can't feel this. This is too intense right now," she says, adding that Transcendental Meditation was "the best thing I got out of my previous relationship, because it was introduced to me via my ex-husband."
Perry, who is now dating John Mayer, also says she was hesitant to jump into a relationship just eight months after her divorce. In fact, she attributes her brief breakup with her "Who You Love" duet partner to personal demons left over from her marriage.
"I took a break from my boyfriend, not one that I wanted. It was like a splash of cold water to search inward on what was going on with me. That is what let me to this new awakening, this realizing, If I don't do some self-love, I'm not going to be able to keep the love that I want," she explains of the split that happened earlier this year. "I still needed to deal with all of my ex-husband stuff. I hadn't. It's almost like if I kept talking about it, it would seem like I actually cared about it. I don't."