Justin Bieber Accused of Pelting His Neighbor’s Home with Eggs

Good morning! Time now for another dispatch from the front lines of The Reckoning, Calabasas, California. Our fare suburb was once an upscale suburb ruled by the House Kardashian, but in recent months has been under siege by a boy-king with silky locks and a bad attitude. His name is Justin Bieber.

In recent months, our boy-king has terrorized the innocent neighborhood: speeding around in his customized chariots and hosting loud festivals at his home. Now, the young King Bieber is at it again, pelting a serf with eggs.

The Los Angeles County Sheriff was called to the home of Bieber’s neighbor last night after Bieber began pelting the home with eggs around 7:30 p.m. TMZ has video of the incident, in which you can hear Bieber’s neighbor shouting, “I see you. I f–king see you!” Bieber then responds, “F–k you! I got another one for you, actually!” It’s not the first altercation the two have had, Bieber allegedly spit in the same neighbor’s face last March, after the neighbor confronted him about his speeding.

Bieber reportedly threw 20 eggs at his neighbor’s home during the attack, which makes absolutely no sense because who takes two full cartons of eggs to an egging and then returns home with four left? Perhaps he needed them for an omelette this morning.

According to TMZ, Bieber is now a suspect in a vandalism investigation. If the damage to the property exceeds $400 — which the unnamed neighbor says it does — it is classified as a felony in the state of California.

Justin Bieber himself has not commented on the incident; you can see pictures from the attack on TMZ.