Kristen Stewart Stands By All Her Mistakes, Says ‘You Can’t Control Love’
In the March 2014 issue of Marie Claire, Kristen Stewart, who split from British actor Robert Pattinson in May 2013 after they struggled to move past her “momentary indiscretion” with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders, in August 2012, admits she has learnt a lot about herself over the past few months.
Here are a few highlights from her interview.
On making choices based on what frightens her: “Dude, I have no idea what I’m doing, and that’s kind of how I love it. I had no idea Twilight was going to be huge. Certain movies I’ve done I thought were going to be amazing did nothing. So it’s fun not having so much control. It’s kind of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants lifestyle – it’s fun, but it’s scary as fuck. If it’s not scary, it’s usually – you kind of have to step back and go, ‘You’re probably making this decision because it’s right on paper.’ But unless you get that irking fear, it’s not right.”
On being thrown into the unknown: “I really like being thrown into the unknown and then finding my way. I don’t want to show someone something. I want people to watch me find something.”
On falling in love: “You don’t know who you will fall in love with. You just don’t. You don’t control it. Some people have certain things, like, ‘That’s what I’m going for,’ and I have a subjective version of that. I don’t pressure myself…If you fall in love with someone, you want to own them – but really, why would you want that? You want them to be what you love. I’m much too young to even have an answer for that question.”
On being judged as a peril of fame: “I stand by every mistake I’ve ever made, so judge away.”
On doing press to promote her latest projects: “I have an embarrassing inability, seriously, of summoning fake energy…I’m just not very good on TV, and it’s not my main goal in life to get good at it. People are like, ‘She just can’t handle’ – for lack of a better word – ‘the spotlight’. No, actually, I can’t, and that is totally who I am. I love being an actor, but I’m the last person to want to have a birthday party. I don’t try to force it or turn it into something else or fabricate this personality…so I totally agree when people say I’m, like, the most awkward person.”
On her poetry: “I don’t want to sound so fucking utterly pretentious…but after I write something, I go, ‘Holy fuck, that’s crazy.’ It’s the same thing with acting: If I do a good scene, I’m always like, ‘Whoa, that’s really dope.’”
The brunette beauty learnt to embrace a more relaxed approach to life when she went on trip with a few of her female friends to New Orleans, Louisiana, shortly after her split from Pattinson last summer.
Read more from Kristen Stewart at MarieClaire.com, and pick of the issue, which is on newsstands tomorrow.