Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Diaries Detail “Drug Deals” and “Demons”

Police in New York uncovered two personal diaries belonging to Philip Seymour Hoffman, a discovery that may be a telling window into the Oscar winner’s last moments.

When the Oscar-winner was found dead of an apparent heroin overdose Feb. 2 in the bathroom of his Greenwich Village apartment with a syringe still stuck in his arm, investigators came across the journals that described Hoffman’s haunting past in his own words, according to NBC News.

The handwritten notes detail the 46-year-old’s “demons,” which he tried to keep at bay by attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings in lower Manhattan, per the site. Hoffman, who admitted going to detox last year after relapsing, appeared to have written in the diaries while in rehab. While some are legible, others are simply the actor’s ongoing thoughts poured out on paper and accentuated by “scribbled lines” and run-on sentences indicating he may have penned them while under the influence.

“It’s stream of consciousness and difficult to follow,” said a source to NBC. “In one line he refers to ‘Frank who always owes money’ and on the same page he writes about a 15-year-old girl from Texas.”

“It seems he did at least part of it in rehab,” said another source. “It definitely contained some soul-searching. But there is also a fair amount of rambling that doesn’t make sense.”

Since his tragic passing, four alleged heroin dealers have been arrested as a result of a tip and Hoffman was laid to rest during a celebrity-filled service last Friday.