We Killed Justin Bieber’s Wax Figure By Loving (Groping) It Too Much

There is nothing that a teenager can’t ruin with some natural skin oil and sheer determination: including the wax figure of Justin Bieber at Madame Tussauds in New York City.

The Bieber display has been taken down at the “museum” because Bieber’s wax figure was disfigured beyond recognition. He was, quite literally, groped to death. “With no ropes or barriers to stop them, thousands of fans have had their photographs taken with him since then — but it has taken its toll,” a Madame Tussauds employee told Page Six.

The devastating news comes just ahead of spring break season when thousands of bored-as-hell teenagers sigh their way through a tour of Ellis Island with their families in exchange for the chance to take a picture with and touch the real* Justin Bieber at Madame Tussauds. Afterward everyone grabs lunch at Chevys Fresh Mex™ and as their precious teen smiles wider with each Instagram like, for the first time in years, parents begin to vaguely remember why they decided to have kids in the first place.

This year, however, families will have to settle for a tour of the Met or some bullshit like that. New York City’s Tourism Bureau has not issued an estimate of exactly how much it expects the Bieber Drought to cost the city.

Fortunately, this pestilence shall not last forever. Madame Tussauds general manager Bret Pidgeon says, “This is disappointing, but hopefully we can welcome a new ‘grown-up’ Justin back to the attraction in the near future.”

For the “grown-up” Justin attraction, might we suggest an orange jumpsuit?

* The wax figure Justin Bieber is not actually the real Justin Bieber. Nor does it, if you look closely, even bear much resemblance to the real Justin Bieber at all.