Florida Judge Decides We Won’t Get to See Justin Bieber’s Penis

As Justin Bieber continues to battle charges of driving under the influence, he has won a small legal victory. A Miami-Dade County judge has ruled that Bieber’s right to privacy outweighs the public’s right to gawk at the Canadian ever-teen’s penis.

Judge William Altfield ruled Tuesday that five videos of Justin Bieber in police custody will be released — including two of him taking a urine test — but only after they’ve been censored to “shade or blacken” Bieber’s genitals.

Bieber was arrested in Miami Beach in January after he was pulled over for drag racing. Bieber admit to police at the time that he had been drinking and smoking pot before his arrest. His urine test came back positive for marijuana and Xanax. He has pleaded not guilty to driving under the influence, resisting arrest and driving with an expired license.

The censored videos of Bieber are expected to be released in a few days.

While we won’t be seeing Bieber’s junk now, I think we can all agree it’s just a matter of time before Selena Gomez gets fed up and leaks all the Snapchats he’s been sending her.