For most of us, television is purely entertainment. A far away world where famous people make believe for our enjoyment. Look, there’s that lady from the thing as a robot cop! And there’s the guy from that reality show as a werewolf lawyer!
But how is that the television sausage made? Well typically a television show comes from a pitch meeting wherein someone with an idea tries to convince someone with money to make their television show. These pitch meetings could happen anywhere from an office on the Warner Bros. studio lot to the dairy aisle at Ralph’s. So if you really want to know how television is made, here’s as good an example as any: self-described homeless person Jo Anne Vandegriff has filed a lawsuit against Halle Berry, Amanda Bynes, Armie Hammer and Disney for the express purpose of getting them in a room together to pitch them a television show based on her romantic Civil War miniseries, Heaven’s Angels.
Certainly you’re already checking your TV Guide for Heaven’s Angels’ airtime, but you probably have just one more question before you commit: is it a masterpiece? Well, Jo Anne’s not gonna lie to you, as the lawsuit states, Heaven’s Angels is “an extraordinary work in its length, complexity, and scope, though not yet a masterpiece work.” Well that’s fine, surely we can just call in Joss Whedon for some re-writes.
Vandergriff does have enough confidence in her project to urge in her lawsuit that “a mini-series of this nature only comes along once every twenty to thirty years.” She also claims that producing her script will promote “peace and harmony, health and happiness,” in addition to stimulating the economy.
Unfortunately, thanks to the U.S. legal system’s pesky habit of only hearing valid suits, it’s highly unlikely this meeting of the minds will ever come to fruition. But that does not mean we’re out of options! Let’s set a Kickstarter up and get the people involved. I, for one, am prepared to donate everything I have to see Halle Berry, Amanda Bynes and Armie Hammer starring in a Civil War romance. And don’t forget to tune in to ABC on Wednesdays at 10/9 C next fall for Heaven’s Angels.