2014 Upfronts: The 5 Worst New Television Shows

At last week’s upfronts, each of the major networks presented their fall 2014 lineup, touting their returning successes while showing off their new stuff. Some of the shows look marvelous, but some look absolutely unwatchable. These are the five worst new shows.

Selfie (ABC)

The internet backlash against this hokey-looking My Fair Lady adaptation was so swift and so harsh that ABC almost immediately pulled the trailer offline. Not a great start for a show about the problems of the internet-era. But as we all know, nothing is ever truly deleted on the internet, so here it is. This show looks like everything that’s wrong with the modern network sitcom: it’s contrived, it’s trend-chasing and there’s not one single character who sounds or acts like any human being I’ve ever met. It’s truly a disaster.

Bad Judge (NBC)

Honestly the concept of a show about a hard partier who just so happens to be a judge by day could be pretty fun. And no one does woman-out-of-control better than Kate Walsh. But it’s the “little underprivileged kid teaches selfish lady about life” aspect of this that’s so grating. First off, it’s so obviously a network note about making the lead more likable. Second, haven’t we seen this before? One hundred times?

Scorpion (CBS)

Yes, it’s a procedural about a genius with a quirk. And, yes, that’s practically CBS’ bread and butter. But this one looks particularly lazy. You have your troubled genius, your OCD-riddled math whiz, your Sherlock Holmes-ian perceptive guy, etc. It’s just a show full of one-dimensional clichés playing their parts.

A to Z (NBC)

First of all, we all know this show was build from the title up. And second of all, this is just How I Met Your Mother in a different setting. Plus it stars the actual mother from HIMYM! Hopefully she doesn’t die this time. Or maybe she will, who cares, this show won’t last long enough for us to find out.

Cristela (ABC)

ABC is chasing diversity pretty hard this season, which is great. I just wish they could find a way to do it without relying on stereotypes for jokes. In this two-minute trailer, the Hispanic main character is mistaken for a maid, her mother lays a guilt trip and a man complains about there not being beer left in the fridge when he comes home from work. It’s like mad libs using only stereotypes.