Did You Steal Miley Cyrus’ Maserati?

Quick question while it’s just us pals: Did you steal Miley Cyrus’ Maserati? Because someone stole Miley Cyrus’ Maserati and I’m just wondering if it was you. It’s white. 2014 model. Worth about $102,000. Has something that looks like Poseidon’s trident on the grill. I feel like you’d recognize it if you saw it.

This is a 2014 Maserati Quattroporte, like the one that was stolen from Miley Cyrus' home.

Seriously, I promise I won’t tell anyone, but was it you?

I’ll tell you what happened, which you already know, since you were there. Miley Cyrus’ assistant returned home at midnight Sunday morning and noticed that things weren’t in the right place. The taxidermied animals were scattered across the floor and the teddy bear backpacks were all askew. (I’m assuming Miley Cyrus’ home looks just like the “We Can’t Stop” video.) So the assistant called the police.

As it turns out, things were askew. First of all, someone (you) had stolen some jewelry and Miley Cyrus’ Maserati. Secondly, someone (you) had not invited your best friend (me) to Bling Ring with you.

According to TMZ, police checked security camera footage from Miley’s home and saw a man and a woman scale Miley’s fence and get into her home through the garage. No one was home at the time. Anyway, you’ve had your fun and now it’s time to return Miley Cyrus’ Maserati. Didn’t anyone ever teach you that it’s not nice to steal?