For Its Final Season, ‘Two and a Half Men’ Will Find a New Way To Offend

Not content to just let a 12-year plague die unannounced, the writers of Two and a Half Men have cooked up a way to offend both gay people and homophobes alike for the show’s final season.

During the a Television Critics Association’s summer press tour engagement, CBS Entertainment chairman Nina Tassler told reporters about the shockingly obnoxious story arc the network’s most reviled show plans to thrust upon us for its 12th and final season. At the beginning of the season, Walden (Ashton Kutcher) will experience a health scare and, subsequently, an “existential crisis.” This is where things get horrible. The Hollywood Reporter quotes Tassler saying, “He wants to find a way to add more meaning to his life, so he decides he wants to adopt a child and in doing so, he starts the process and realizes that it’s very difficult to adopt a child as a single, straight man. So once and for all he decides, ‘I’m going to propose to Alan [Jon Cryer] and we’re going to get married and adopt a child as a gay couple.”

Tassler was reportedly not worried about how the LGBT community would react to one of its main struggles being reduced to a silly gag, calling it a “positive statement.” GLAAD, for its part, remained optimistic, telling THR: “We hope the show will acknowledge not only the progress made in acceptance of gay and lesbian couples, but also the fact that—in many areas of the country—same-sex couples are often under greater scrutiny or still barred from adoption options that straight couples have.” Many states still forbid same-sex couples from adopting children thanks to the idiotic belief that gay couples would raise gay children since, you know, straight couples only raise straight children.

And if that weren’t enough, Tassler also told the press that the show is in talks with Charlie Sheen to return to the show for one or more of its final episodes. It’s not clear how that would work, since Sheen’s character was killed of after he was fired.

And, sure, this idea may be wildly offensive and all, but at least it’s original right? Nope, it’s not. An episode of The Drew Carey Show called “Drew and the Trail Scouts” that aired in 2000 already featured a fake gay marriage for the sake of laughs. Tired and misguided: it’s everything we’ve come to expect from Two and a Half Men.