18 Things Taylor Swift’s Mysterious ’18’ Video Could Mean
In what is the biggest mystery to take place inside of an elevator since Solange went berserk on Jay Z, Taylor Swift shared a “clue” (to what, we’re not sure) in the form of an Instagram video. In the video, she repeatedly presses an elevator button labeled 18. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?! We don’t know. But having watched True Detective and also some old Law & Order: SVUs, we feel equipped to get to the bottom of things using only our minds (and a healthy dose of rampant, unfounded speculation). Here are 18 possible solutions to the “18” mystery that has haunted our nation for nearly five hours:
1. 18 is a date. As in August 18. Expect new music on August 18.
2. 18 is the number of new songs Taylor’s written about 18 different ex-boyfriends.
3. 18 is the number of new cats Taylor plans on adopting before the end of the year.
4. 18 is the number of times Taylor will be recorded dancing awkwardly at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards.
5. 18 is the number of times Ed Sheeran called and left a voicemail asking for a feature on her new album.
6. 18 is the number of Ed Sheran’s voicemails Taylor did not listen to and deleted.
7. $18 million is the amount of money she spent on her new penthouse suite on the 18th floor. (The 17th floor, where she lived previously, was too close to the riffraff.)
8. 18 is the number of times platinum Taylor’s new single has already gone, despite not even having been released yet.
9. 18 is the number of road trips Taylor has planned with Karlie Kloss through Labor Day.
10. 18 is the number of dates Taylor’s management has arranged with A-List actors over the course of the next 18 days.
11. 18 is the number of times Taylor’s ended and then rekindled her friendship with Selena Gomez.
12. 18 is the number of skirts Taylor changes into every day. 18 is also the length, in inches, of each and every one of these skirts.
13. 18 is, on a scale of 10, how good Taylor looks after hitting the gym. (2, on the same scale, is how good the rest of us look after the gym.)
14. 18 is a sacred Illuminati number that imbues Taylor with mind-reading powers and the strength of a minotaur.
15. 18 is the number of bright red lipstick tubes Taylor keeps in her purse at all times.
16.18 is the number of takes it took Taylor to get her one line right in The Giver.
17. 18 is the number of op-eds about the state of the music industry Taylor plans on writing should her album undersell.
18. 18 is the number of items on this list that are accurate.
Only time will tell which of these guesses are correct, but our money’s on “D: None of the Above.” Although actually #1 seems very likely. But also #3 and #4 seem highly probable?
Taylor also claims this is our “first clue,” which means that more are likely coming. We look forward to investigating further.
Here’s the video that started it all: