Joan Rivers Planned Her Funeral Already: Here are 6 Things She Needs You to Do

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Joan Rivers Dies at 81
Joan Rivers has passed away at age 81... Read More »

Joan Rivers may have passed away today, but her fabulous quotes and knee-slapping humor will stay with us forever.

In fact, just hours after her passing, we’ve been reminded of her one-of-a-kind personality. Apparently Joan had been prepared for her death and hilariously described her dream funeral in her 2012 book I Hate Everyone… Starting with Me.

So, taking her daughter Melissa Rivers’ advice, we’re going to continue celebrating Joan’s “greatest joy in life,” which was to make people laugh, and keep it up with her outrageous hilarious funeral requests. Enjoy:

1. Melissa gets everything (sorry to anyone else who thought they’d be included). “When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything’s in your name)…

2. She wants it to be a huge Hollywood night-out. "I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action. I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way."

3. She wants Meryl Streep to do all the talking. "I don't want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents."

4. She’d like her body to be used as a prop. "I don't want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing 'Mr. Lonely.'"

5. She still wants everyone to know she’s the Queen of Fashion. “I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag.”

6. She wants to use the opportunity as her one Beyonce moments. "And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing like Beyoncé's."

And writing that just made me tear up a little. Cheers to you, Joan Rivers. May a cocktail be waiting for you and a Valentino gown be in the works.

 

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