Palin Family Goes Full Maverick, Bands Together in Drunken Fight at Snowmobile Party

Bristol VS. The Heckler
Sarah Palin's daughter faces one of her mom's vocal critics.
Just as our nation’s greatest have battled for our rights to liberty and justice for all, the Palin family was similarly embroiled in a beer-fueled fistfight at a snowmobile party in Alaska.

Although the altercation occurred last Saturday, the Anchorage Police Department confirmed the news yesterday.

Imagine the scene: Track Palin arrives at the residence of Chris Olds, where the party (sponsored by a snowmobile race) is taking place. In dramatic fashion, the eldest Palin sibling “stumbles” out of a stretch Hummer – the official prom vehicle choice of suburbanites everywhere circa 2008.

At the party, Track spots one of Willow Palin’s ex-boyfriends and exchanges words – not the good kind, mind you, as Track is reportedly unhappy with the boy. But according to a political blogger’s account of the night, things quickly went from maverick to straight-up rogue:

“The owner of the house gets involved, and he probably wished he hadn’t. At this point, he’s up against nearly the whole Palin tribe: Palin women screaming. Palin men thumping their chests. Word is that Bristol has a particularly strong right hook, which she employed repeatedly, and it’s something to hear when Sarah screams, ‘Don’t you know who I am!’ And it was particularly wonderful when someone in the crowd screamed back, ‘This isn’t some damned Hillbilly reality show!’”

The Palins were allegedly asked to leave, but even then the family proved that they #cantbetamed:

“As people were leaving in a cab, Track was seen on the street, shirtless, flipping people off, with Sarah right behind him, and Todd somewhere in the foreground, tending to his bloody nose.”

Fingers crossed that this kind of made-for-TV magic will lead to a renewal of Sarah Palin’s Alaska.