Jennifer Lopez Recalls Moment That Prompted Her to End Her Marriage With Marc Anthony

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Jennifer Lopez may have ended things with then-husband Marc Anthony in 2011, but the “Booty” singer still remembers the moment she realized she needed to walk away from her seven-year marriage as if it happened yesterday.

Writing in her new book, True Love, Lopez recalls having a panic attack that prompted her to rethink her relationship with the “No Me Ames” crooner.

She writes, according to excerpts obtained by People, “As I sat there getting made up, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I couldn’t breathe … I became consumed with anxiety.” 

Lopez continues:

What was happening to me? I leaped from my chair and said to my dear manager Benny Medina, “Benny, something is happening! I feel like I’m going crazy.” My mom was there and she rushed to my side too. 

It was one of those moments when you’re so scared you can’t even scream. In a blur of fear and panic, I looked at Benny and my mother and blurted out the words: “I don’t think I can be with Marc anymore.” Then I burst into tears. 

The songstress  also adds that her relationship with Anthony had started to crumble, despite the fact that the two of them had celebrated their wedding anniversary just before her breakdown.

“Anybody looking from the outside in would have thought my life was great,” she writes. “I had a husband and two beautiful children. I was on American Idol and my new single “On The Floor” had gone to number one all over the world. What people didn’t know was that life really wasn’t that good. My relationship was falling apart and I was terrified.”

Lopez and Anthony, who are proud parents to twins Max and Emme, announced their breakup a month after her panic attack. Though their divorce was finalized in 2014, Lopez writes that the former couple are still “supportive of each other.”

Regarding other romances, Lopez reveals she has been in abusive relationships, explaining in her book, “I’ve never gotten a black eye or busted lip but I’ve been in relationships where I have been abused in one way or another: mentally, emotionally, verbally. I know what it feels like for your soul to be diminished by the way your loved one is treating you.”

“It took me years to figure out that, in that kind of relationship the intensity and the conflict are really coming from two people,” she says. “Because every day you don’t walk out that door, every day you accept things in a partner and in yourself, is a day that you’re saying it’s okay.”

True Love will be released Nov. 4.