Nicki Minaj Talks Being Vulnerable and Opening Up About Her ‘Haunting’ Abortion in Rolling Stone

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There’s no denying Nicki Minaj has released her most personal LP yet with The Pinkprint, and now she’s opening up about what it was like to shed her badass demeanor for a bit and become vulnerable.

In the newest issue of Rolling Stone magazine (out Jan. 2), Minaj addresses the new album, which gives an unprecedented look into her personal life–including her split from Safaree Samuels after 11 years and her decision to have an abortion as a teenager.

“One of my goals was to give people a glimpse into my personal life, because it’s something I’ve kept very private,” she tells the publication.  “I had to learn to do something as simple as sleep alone.  I struggled with ‘Do I express these feelings?’ And I decided there’s no reason for me to hide. I’m a vulnerable woman, and I’m proud of that.”

One of the topics she decided to let the world in on was the abortion she had at a very young age.  “I thought I was going to die,” she admits. “I was a teenager. It was the hardest thing I’d ever gone through.”

She says the decision has “haunted me all my life,” but she still believes it was the right choice.

“It’d be contradictory if I said I wasn’t pro-choice. I wasn’t ready,” she admits.   “I didn’t have anything to offer a child.”

Minaj first rapped about the abortion on a mixtape track called “Autobiography,” a song she says she “didn’t expect anyone to hear.” But now the world is listening to every word she says very carefully.

“Millions of people are gonna hear it. And you gotta watch everything you say — people find an issue with every fucking thing,” Minaj vents.

In fact, when it comes to her most talked about video of the year for “Anaconda,” which broke records, she says she doesn’t care what anyone has to say about it.

“I’m a grown-ass fucking woman!” she says. “I stand for girls wanting to be sexy and dance, but also having a strong sense of themselves. If you got a big ol’ butt? Shake it! Who cares? That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be graduating from college.”