Chris Soules ‘The Bachelor’ Recap, Week 6: Bye Bye, Crazy Kelsey

Just when we thought the drama couldn’t get any worse following last week’s wild episode of The Bachelor, Chris Soules and the ladies vying for his heart prove us wrong.

As you may recall, week 5 left us with a cliff hanger — no rose ceremony, just crazy Kelsey crying on the floor due to a “panic attack,” causing us all to wonder how much of her life is actually real.

Well, last night’s show answered all of our questions and left us feeling a bit more at ease with Soules and his decisions this season. Here are four things you missed:

1. Kelsey’s “panic attack.” Fake. Fake. Fake. I hate to call someone out on crying wolf, but it was beyond obvious that Kelsey’s panic attack was a huge ploy in being able to talk to Soules before the rose ceremony. As she was struggling to breathe while using a ventilator, she cried out for the Iowa farmer boy and whispered to the doctor with a devious laugh, “I better get a rose for this.” I’ll say it one more time: FAKE.

2. Soules sends home Mackenzie and Sam. There’s no surprise that Soules decided to send home Sam — we’ve heard maybe two words out of her in the last 6 weeks — and Mackenzie, who seems far too young (and a little too weird) to be ready for marriage. The only slight surprise was that Kelsey lasted… But we all know that was a producing decision. What would this week’s episode have been without her?!

3. Becca becomes a top runner. While Britt may be Soules No. 1 choice as of right now, Becca swiftly made her way to a close second with her one-on-one date this week. She’s a southern girl, genuinely funny and seems to have formed an actual bond with Soules on more than just a physical level. Personally speaking, she’s my top choice as of last night!

4. But let’s not forget Britt is still No. 1. During the group date, the connection between Chris and Britt was more than obvious. The ladies had to pen their own song to Soules and sing it in front of an audience, and though it was a bit cringe-worthy to watch, a few actually did a pretty decent job (specifically, Carly the cruise ship singer). Jade defeated her fears and got up on stage, and Kaitlyn rapped, but Britt still managed to win Chris’ heart with a lot of kissing and a semi-decent performance. The bachelor sneaked the beauty from Hollywood — who’s never listened to country music before — off to a Big & Rich concert where she faked and faked and faked it until he finally handed her a rose. “I love this music!” she screamed as all of us watching at home couldn’t help but shake our heads (liar). Meanwhile,  the other girls — several of which are major country music fans — waited at least an hour for their return. When they saw Britt with the rose, the tears began flowing. We’ve never seen Kaitlyn cry, and even she couldn’t help it this time around. Asshole move on Soules’ part.

4. The two-on-one gets dramatic. The two-on-one date always results in one girl being sent home. So when we saw it was between Ashley I. and Kelsey, we were hopeful that this would finally result in a moment of defeat for the witchy widow (whose story I still don’t buy). However, after Ashley reveals the truth about Kelsey to Soules, he throws her under the bus and actually tells Kelsey what she said. Kelsey’s response? Jealousy. “I’m blessed with elegance, and I’m articulate because I’m smart.” Gag. Ashley’s retort was flawless: “You think I’m not as smart as you because I don’t use big words? Sorry I’m not from Pleasantville. I’m from 2014.” But despite the awesome debate, both ladies get sent home. We’re sad about Ashley because she’s hilarious, but Kelsey and her craziness… FAREWELL!

Also notable: When the girls saw a producer come in and pick up Kelsey’s bag, they literally screamed and celebrated with champagne. LOL.

Can’t wait to see what goes down next week… Until then, cheers to Kelsey’s departure!