Your Dream of Watching Courtney Stodden Diddle Herself on Camera May Come True

Courtney's Bikini Malfunction
And her top fell off just like that!

Move over, Farrah Abraham! Courtney Stodden is trying to break into the world of celebrity (air quotes implied) sex tapes.

TMZ reports that Stodden is shopping a sex tape she filmed of herself masturbating (or, as we like to say, “self-diddling”). “Where can I watch this video?” we hear everyone in North America asking. Well, you can’t watch it. Not yet.

Naturally, the video ended up on the desk of Vivid Entertainment’s founder and co-chairman Steven Hirsch. You will remember that Vivid is responsible for bringing Abraham’s Backdoor Teen Mom and sex tapes from other celebrities (Kim Kardashian, Kendra Wilkinson) to the masses. Of Stodden’s footage, Hirsch said it “looks amazing, this is the most unique footage I’ve ever seen.” Unique is definitely the first word you want to see in the porn video description! However, he refused to confirm whether or not Vivid is even bidding on the tape.

So for now, sit tight (and keep your hands occupied). This thing will certainly, eventually make its way into the world, onto the hard drives of the horny and the curious. Not your hard drive though, because you would never.

In honor of this game-changing news, please give the iconic Britney Spears self-love anthem, “Touch of My Hand,” a spin below.