6 Things Kate Middleton Can Do to Induce Labor (So We Can All Stop Waiting for That Royal Baby to Come Out)

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The public is getting restless as it waits with bated breath for the birth of the Kate Middleton’s royal baby.

Despite it being days past her expected due date, the Duchess of Cambridge looks to be in no hurry to give birth to her second child. In fact, the soon-to-be mother-of-two has been spending her time running errands like a regular ‘ol commoner as she picks up her son, Prince George, from his swimming lesson and drives around Buckingham Palace with Prince William. Gasp! The gall!

Free coffee and croissants are nice but it won’t hold over those camping outside St. Mary’s Hospital to see the royal baby much longer.

So, if Middleton feels ever so inclined to speed up the delivery process, here are a few things she could try to induce labor. Of course, she should also consult a doctor first because — let’s face it — this is the royal baby we’re talking about here.

1. Eat a pineapple.

Apparently, the fruit contains an enzyme called bromelain, which is said to help to soften your cervix and bring on labor. But given how there’s no actual scientific evidence to support the old wives’ tale, this might be just a way to trick people into eating pineapple.

2. Get a massage.

Pressure points in the body, especially the webbing between your thumb and index finger and the inside of your leg just above above the ankle bone, may encourage labor. However, it’s always best to consult your doctor before playing around with acupressure. (You don’t want a Five Point Palm Exploding Technique thing happening, do you?)

3. Have sex.

Why not?

4. Have someone stimulate your nipples.

If you’re into that kind of stuff.

5. Eat spicy foods.

If Rachel and Ross from Friends did it, you know it works! [Ed. note: Or maybe not.]

6. Eat “The Salad.”

Pregnant Angelenos have been swearing by a special dish from Caioti Pizza Café — simply called “The Salad” — as the thing that induces labor for almost 20 years. According to mothers who’ve since given birth after visiting the restaurant, the mixture of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, sun-dried tomatoes, herbs, and seasonings in the salad dressing is what really gets the bun out of the oven. But then again, there’s no actual scientific back — so all in all this could also just be a ploy to get you to at your veggies.