WATCH: The ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Honest Trailer Is Perfect

He really does have control over everything she eats…

The folks at Honest Trailers have finally put their spin on Fifty Shades of Grey and put it this way: if you haven’t seen the film and have no plans to do it, this version will do the job.

From Anastasia’s likeliness to Bella Swan to all the creepy stalker moments from Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), Fifty Shades of Grey is more like Fifty Shades of Ridiculous.

Props to the genius behind the tweaked version of Beyoncé’s “Crazy In Love.” (Our favorite line: “Wish somebody would tase me right now the story’s about as sexy as rabies right now.”)

[h/t Time]