Poster People for Resting Bitch Face Kristen Stewart and Kanye West Hung Out in Paris Last Night
No big deal or anything, but Kristen Stewart and Kanye West were all (Mona Lisa) smiles as they hung out in Paris together last night. What?! Smiles? Admittedly, their smiles were vague and acute, but a smile is a smile is a smile nevertheless.
So. You know what that means: for maybe an hour or two, both K-Stew and Kanye’s resting bitch faces were temporarily cured in Paris perhaps because of the fact that they, King and Queen of resting bitch face, were in each other’s presence.
Stewart’s friend Charlotte Hayes-Jones posted a pic of K-Stew and Yeezus stifling their notorious poker faces long enough to take a more than halfway decent group photo. She captioned it, “Straight #up chillin #kkcc”:
The way she slightly hides her smile with her left hand, Stewart’s face seems to say, “I’m hanging out with Yeezus but I don’t really care but okay, yeah, it’s pretty cool…umm…but maybe it’s time to smoke a cigarette?”
Meanwhile, West is smiling with his eyes – a rarity in itself since most days he looks like this:
Even if it’s his wedding day:
Anyone who doesn’t live under a rock knows that when West smiles, it automatically becomes a fresh piece of news (take these instances earlier this week, in June, in May, in January…). There’s a fascination behind his smile, or lack thereof, that the media and the public at large just can’t seem to get over. Thus, his frown has become quite the running joke in Hollywood and West himself has even addressed the issue before, commenting, “not smiling makes me smile … When you see paintings in an old castle, people are not smiling cause it just wouldn’t look as cool.”
As for bae K-Stew, her resting bitch face is as purposeful as it is convenient. Last year she addressed the fact that she doesn’t smile for the paparazzi, explaining, “Now I feel like if I smiled for a paparazzi photo—not that I ever would—that’s exactly what people would be desecrating me for. They’d be like, ‘now you’re going to give it up, now you’re a sellout.’ Like, okay. What do you want? What would you like?”
In her defense, it makes sense. As a celebrity, there’s lightbulbs going off in your face, people yelling your name, paparazzi constantly following you (let alone asking for you to smile) and the fact that you’ve got such a heavy burden of fame to carry on your shoulder every day…would you be smiling? Nah, man.
And let us not even get started on how infuriating it is when someone tells a woman to “smile” or “smile more.”
For years, mankind has wondered what would happen if ever the King and Queen of resting bitch face (and we say this with the utmost respect, most sincere giddiness, an overarching sense of envy, and genuine fangirl emotions mostly for K-Stew but sometimes kind of also for Ye’) were to meet, let alone hang out.
Some things you may have wondered during many a sleepless night and continue to wonder, now that photographic evidence of their meeting has surfaced:
Whose resting bitch face is stronger?
Did they listen to “Ni**as In Paris”?
What would their BFF/couple name be: Yestew? Kanstew? Kristye? Kriswest? K West?
Did they exchange numbers so they can hang out again? Is this the beginning of a beautiful, blossoming friendship?
Is Yeezus’ fanbase about to grow by the Krisbians?
Exactly how many times did they stifle a smile last night, and how many laughs did they share?
Was this a business meeting? Does the fashionisto designer want Kristen to model for him?
Do they even deserve their crowns for King and Queen of resting bitch face anymore?!
Oh, to be a fly on that wall. And so, in defense of Kristen and Kanye’s perfected Mona Lisa smiles, here’s to hoping they never change.