Kylie Jenner Likes Making Everyone Think She’s Engaged and Then Telling Them She’s Not
Kylie Jenner knows how to create a self-perpetuating news cycle.
Kylie — Official Spokeswoman for Butt and Boob Creams Everywhere — has a habit of leading people to believe her 26-year-old boyfriend, Tyga, has, as they say, “put a ring on it.” A few days ago, she shared a photo to her Instagram — which 30 million people follow, so news was bound to get out — which featured her sporting a ring on that finger. She also made a questionable remark about on Sunday’s episode of I Am Cait about being married at 17. (Kylie is 17! Coincidence?!?!?!) But, it must be said, it simply is not true; Kylie and Tyga are not engaged. How do we know? Kylie said so herself:
Not planning on getting married anytime soon :)
— Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) July 30, 2015
Now that we have given the non-story of Kylie’s non-engagement to Tyga its fair due, let us turn our attention to other important matters happening in Kylie’s World.
First and most importantly! Have you purchased your Kylie-approved butt cream yet? On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being “bumpy rash” and 10 being “an ass like Kim’s,” how would you rate the product?
Secondly, is it true that Kylie secretly suffers from chronic appendicitis? We don’t know the answer for sure, but we’re hoping she also sends out a clarification about that important matter.
And did you know: Kylie is turning 18 soon? Just like you and I did on our 18th and 19th birthdays, she’s planning to head north and get wasted in Canada. (Canada only continues to exist because of booze-thirsty American teens in need of a legal watering hole.) That means we’ll all have to stop talking about her relationship with Tyga is at best gross and at worst illegal.
That’s about all we have time for today. Thank you for joining us on our tour of Kylie’s World. Please return for more important updates at a time TBD.